The Most Dangerous Advice in Tech

Ben Horowitz famously wrote, “A good product manager is the CEO of the product.” It is the most quoted line in our industry. It is also the most dangerous.

When a Junior PM hears this, they walk into a room of Senior Engineers and think, “I am the boss here. I decide the roadmap.” The result? Friction. Resentment. And eventually, a failed product.

The reality of modern Product Management is simple: You have all the responsibility, but none of the authority. You are responsible for the success or failure of the product, but you do not report to the people who build it (Engineering) or the people who sell it (Sales).

The Shift: From Commander to Diplomat

If you aren’t the CEO, what are you? You are the Diplomat.

A Diplomat’s power doesn’t come from rank. It comes from Influence. They walk between warring nations (departments), finding common ground, translating needs, and negotiating peace treaties (roadmaps) that everyone can sign.

Here are the three roles of the Diplomat PM:

1. The Translator (Engineering <-> Business)

Your CEO speaks in “Revenue” and “Market Share.” Your Engineers speak in “Technical Debt” and “Refactoring.” These two groups often cannot understand each other.

• Bad PM (CEO Mode): Tells engineers, “Just build it because the business needs it.” (Engineers rebel).
• Good PM (Diplomat Mode): Translates the business need: “If we refactor this code now, we can launch the new feature 2 weeks faster next quarter, which hits our Q3 revenue goal.”

2. The Negotiator (Sales <-> Product)

Sales wants a custom feature for one big client. Product wants to build a scalable platform for all clients.

• Bad PM (CEO Mode): “No. That’s not on the roadmap.” (Sales goes to the real CEO and overrules you).
• Good PM (Diplomat Mode): “I can’t give you that custom button. But I can give you an API endpoint that lets the client build it themselves. Does that close the deal?”

3. The Politician (Stakeholder Management)

Every stakeholder wants their feature to be P0 (Priority Zero).

• Bad PM (CEO Mode): “I decided Feature X is more important.”
• Good PM (Diplomat Mode): “I understand Feature Y is critical for you. But if we do Y, we delay Feature Z for the Marketing team. Can you and the Marketing Head agree on which one brings more value this month?”

The “Influence Without Authority” Toolkit

To succeed as a Diplomat, you need a different set of skills:

1. Empathy: 
   • Understanding the incentives of other teams. (Sales needs commission; Eng needs stability).
2. Data: 
   • A Diplomat doesn’t bring opinions to a gunfight. They bring data. “I think” gets you overruled. “The data shows” gets you alignment.
3. Transparency: 
   • Share the “Why,” not just the “What.” When people understand the constraints, they are more willing to compromise.

Conclusion

The “CEO of the Product” is a lonely, frustrating role because it is a lie. The “Diplomat of the Product” is a powerful, connected role because it is the reality.

The Takeaway: 

Stop trying to command the room. Start trying to connect the room. The product doesn’t need another boss. It needs a bridge.